Point Of Origin
by Nightlast
Summary: No matter what, the feeling of a friend being stolen away is always going to leave bitterness, no matter how much you know they don't mean it... Honda Tribute and semiangst


_AN- This had originally been hosted under another pen-name, but that one has fallen out of use and only had one other story and was a back-up account due to account problems here, so no, this isn't plagarism. XD_

_This is my small tribute to Honda, an underloved character who I have recently taken an interest in. May or may not continue it._

Disclaimer: I do not own Yuugiou. Simple as!

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Friday, November 13th,

Dear Dia- journal...

I can't believe I've actually started _thinking_ like this! They've done nothing wrong and they're happy, and I'm happy to be there for them and support them and all of that kind of thing! I don't _mind_ what's steadily happening as time goes by, unable to do much about it... Jounouchi is my best pal, for the love of God! I don't wanna hurt his feelings!

But... I can't stop myself... I have to admit it, at least here...

You can never really see it unless you know what to look for. Its most definitely there, but its so subtle and undefined that even the most perceiving of people could have trouble picking up on it. You just… You just gotta know what to look for.

Jounouchi doesn't notice it, happy in his pathetic world filled with arcades, Duel Monsters and of course, his best lil' buddy. Little being the operative word, but that's hardly the point. I'm happy enough too, honest. Happy for him and happy for his life- its better than it has been in all the years I've been faithfully by his side, watching his back and taking care of him. I'm happy for everything they have.

I'm a part of it, I guess. But its hard… watching him…. watching them. Staying behind in the sidelines and keeping my mouth shut to thoughts that so badly wanna get out and tear a certain someone apart for ripping my life away from me. Its hard watching him- what would the word be? Leaping (yeah, that's it) away quite contentedly. The progression hasn't been at all slow, you know. What a bastard.

Aw, man… I sense a little bitterness?

A little? Hell no. I practically radiate bitterness. Look, you can see it, radiating away like itty bitty worms with multicoloured ferns perched on top of their cherub like heads, complete with pretty wide eyes, all ignorant and naïve (and oh-so-mocking.)

Where the hell did that eloquence come from then? Or that? I thought I was failing English!

To the point… Bitterness means I'm jealous, too. Jealous of what Yuugi's taken from me, regardless of whether or not he's realized what he's done and still doing. In all his 'innocence', its almost impossible for me to imagine that he meant it to happen or that he purposefully crafted it to be that way. Why wasn't it me? Why did it have to be Jounouchi? I wouldn't have drifted like he did! I'm loyal to those who deserve my loyalty! (Poses the question, does Jounouchi?) Yuugi wouldn't have intended to create this little thread…

But that's left me as the Sidekick of the Stars Sidekick, the ultimate slap in the face as far as I'm concerned.

So, who can I blame for me losing the one I count as a brother? Who can I blame for the pain that I've silently suffered through as I drove at reckless speeds through the night on my Preciousness? Who can I blame for almost KILLING everything that's important to me (Except my bike…)? Whether scapegoat or true cause, I'll find the point of origin and let my subconscious twitter andfumein its carefully locked vault thingie in the very back of my mind, one with loads of keys and locks and combinations.

--Hiroto

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_Doesn't matter._

_I've found it now…_

_Realized it…_

_And it can't know._

A pen slowly clattered onto the spacious wooden desk, falling beside the still open hardback notebook that contained all the things that he could no longer bring himself to share with anybody. The pages were random and disorganized, the entries themselves often jumping around and barely making any sense even to the one who had written them. He just wrote whatever came to mind when it came to mind, recording it safely so that he could look back on it and ponder.

Barely tanned fingers traced the most recently scribed-letters, following the scratchy curves of his own handwriting. Who else knew that he was writing in a journal? Did Jounouchi? _Heh... If he knew he'd probably think I was rambling on about Shizuka none-stop. Well... Partially true, but I've got bigger things to think about than a crush on my 'best friend's' little sister... Other than that, I doubt he'd be too interested in anything I've written about._

"Or would he?" Honda sighed, pushing himself away from the desk and standing from his beloved office-chair. The formal looking piece of furniture looked so out of place in his room; a practical mine-field as far as its state was concerned. Magazines littered the carpet, piled in different places for easy accesibility. The most important of those articles were dotted around strategically, mostly on his desk or on the bed-side table. Non-fiction books of all kinds were more carefully placed, lined up on a bookshelf that stood opposite his desk.On top of that, gleaming proudly in the light from the overhead lamp, stood a beautifully crafted katana, the hilt craved into the likeness of a king cobra.

His room definitely suited him. It was comfortable, welcoming and messily organized that he found he was most able relax in. It had quickly become his sanctuary when he needed some time to think, which had been increasingly often since Jounouchi had begun to drift away.

Grasping the edge of that precious little book, he slowly flipped the cover over, hiding the pages written within from the world around it. It didn't matter much if he left it out on the desk; nobody came in his room anyway unless they absolutely had to (besides, he locked it most of the time anyway. Locks were wonderful things for private people!) so it wasn't much of a risk that anybody would pry.

Besides, who else but him knew it was there?

_((-ringring-))_


End file.
